Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Nerves

I am in Denver for this year's American Physical Society meeting. Besides having serious jet lag and dry skin I seem to be a walking ball of nerves. I realize that this meeting means much more than what is on the surface. Dr. Hari wants to show me off to professors and industrial bigwigs in the hopes I can be all but hired next year at this time. I hate networking and never seem to be assertive advertising myself. Dr. Hari gave a talk showcasing much of my work today and it seemed to go over well. Our collaborator whom I have never met before called my data "beautiful" which I think was more flattering than being complimented on my physical appearance (don't get me wrong, I'll take that, too!). Conversations like that make me feel very sad at the prospect of leaving academia.

While on the topic of nerves, I met with our other collaborator today. I'm referring to the one I had a major crush on last year. That was before I was a reserved, married woman. Now, well I still have a major crush on him. I replied to his, "Nice to see you again" with a shrill giggle, a clammy handshake and a beet red face. Very professional.

Before both these experiences could make me too sad about leaving this life, Mo and I went to a panel discussion about female physicists balancing career with family. It was horrific. I know most of you know I struggle with such issues and I am much too tired to get into it right now.

I'm going to stop now. Sorry for the general lack of coherence, I don't have time to sort out some of my emotions. I just thought it was important to touch base and at least let you know of my geographical whereabouts. Now, I must get some rest, I have my talk to give tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!

8 comments:

Runner Girl FL said...

Good Luck!!

Sometimes those "Women in ____" discussion sort of things are good and sometimes they are just counter productive to getting things equal or being helpful.

See ya this weekend. Go out for the night with JG he will be fun. :)

Anonymous said...

GOOD LUCK! you always come through in stressful situations. I will be thinking of you today, and will continue to brag about you to whoever will listen!!!

Sylvia said...

Good Luck! I will be thinking of you and bragging about you too! Instead of looking at your audience and imagining them nude - think of them as stray cats you have had neutered and cleaned up - that should make you relax and smile!!

magnetbabe said...

Thanks, all. The talk went really well, lots of compliments and interest. Now I'm gong to go have a drink!

Anonymous said...

i'm very curious as to who the Other anonymous is... this tried and true anonymous-female-physicist is dealing with learning to interact in industry, it isn't easy, as i am learning cope in england this week.
but magnetbabe, i'm over-joyed that your talk went well. I can't wait to hear all about it.

mom said...

every time i meet someone new and tell them i have a daughter living in florida, i shamelessly wait for them to say, "oh what does she do?" then i try to say casually "oh well she's a physicist" i love it!!

lefty_grrrl said...

Mom, you are awesome! Do you polish your knuckles on your shirt while you say it?

mom said...

lefty girl....absolutely!!!!!