If you are not up for an excrutiatingly long post about Ralph Lauren pants, I suggest you exit now.
It all started around Christmas time when Mom and Tom and I went shopping at Bloomingdales' after Christmas sale. If you have never witnessed my mom and I shopping, it is quite the sight. We shop as if it is the apocalypse and our eternal souls will be judged on the basis of the bargains we have found. I was in the dressing room trying on a vast multitude of designer clothes at ridiculously low prices when I spotted them. Tan Ralph Lauren pants, my size, already in the dressing room waiting for me. They were somewhere between jeans and khakis, a luxiously soft cotton that definitely passed for "business casual." They were originally $59.99, marked down to $27.99 and then 40% off of THAT. Plus, they made my butt look fantastic. From then on they were heavy in the rotation.
I was shopping for a dress for a wedding awhile back and I stopped in at Ross. Ross is a frightening store. Since most of my readers don't live in Florida, they have never had the misfortune of having to go in to a Ross. It is perpetually dimly lit and has an odor of sweat and synthetic fabric. There are never enough people working, the lines are out the door and the dressing rooms are reminiscent of a high school locker room. Nontheless, Ross does carry name brand clothes at significantly reduced prices- perfect for shopping for a dress for a wedding in Boondocks, Minnesota. While waiting in line to pay for my dress (I never said I didn't find stuff there on occasion...) I spotted my tan pants for $24.99. I briefly debated buying a backup pair and then decided aginst it. I paid $15 for them at Bloomingdales, I wasn't about to pay $25 for them at Ross.
After the wedding and the wonderful stay in Minnesota, I came home and realized that I couldn't find my tan pants. I remember ironing them in my dad's laundry room and then changing my mind and putting on a skirt for a concert. That was the last time I saw them. I called my dad a few days ago and mentioned that I thought I remember leaving a pair of pants at his house. I described them in detail.
"Tan, cotton but not khaki material. Really soft. Bootleg cut. Size [not telling the world what size I am]."
"Oh." My dad said.
"Well, it's just that Anna's that size too."
"Your pants are probably in Canada with her [on a three week vacation]. If so, let me know how much they were, I'll write you a check"
Hmmm. How much they were originally, or how much I paid for them? The thrill is in how LITTLE I paid for them. Anyway, I related this story to Dean on the way to dinner last night and begged him to stop at Ross so I could see if they still had some there. He asked if I thought Anna would realize that she had my pants. I jokingly said, "Maybe she thought the pants fairy brought them to her." He agreed, never having been in Ross before. He was appalled.
"Frey, do you shop here a lot?"
"Not really. They have cheap Tommy stuff though."
"Are you really doing that bad financially? I am making more money now. You don't have to shop like this."
"Who cares? Yeah, it's kinda gross but it's better than paying full price all the time, especially while I'm still a grad student."
"From now on, I'm buying your clothes so that you never have to come here again."
Both me and Anna have pants fairies now.