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I was going to add a comment addressing some of the thoughts left on my previous post but even in my mind it became so long I decided to just write a new post.

First, thank you to all of you who stopped by and left such kind words. I never dreamed I could meet such caring people all because I blog (which by the way I started after much persuasion from my friend. I was very resistant at first. So thank you, anonymous blog buddy.).

Second, to answer Scott's question, yes I still have the recording. runnergirl thought she recorded over it but she didn't. She is the only person that I think I could have forgiven if she had recorded over it only because I believe she would be just as hurt as I. Everyone knows that the number one rule in this apartment is NEVER EVER TOUCH THE RED BUTTON ON THE PIANO. I like to think of my future children banging on the keyboard, knowing their mother is perfectly okay with creative musical expression just as long as they DON'T TOUCH THE RED BUTTON.

interestingly, mom, I hadn't really thought of the "piano as therapist" angle. Music and the presence of animals have always been therapeutic for me. For the first time in six years both are in my home. And I feel a new sense of completeness.

For those of you who haven't figured it out (and don't know me in real life), Ms. Big Feet is Randy's little(st) sister. One of my biggest regrets is not knowing her better when Randy was still around (even though he talked about her often enough!). As tragic as this whole experience has been, I have found a new friend in BF. Her strength and perserverance never cease to amaze me, and her resemblance to Randy in personality and spirit continues to be a comfort.

Lastly, one thing I had meant to describe in my previous post was the way I thought Randy might react to his piano's new home. I can imagine myself telling him about my poor fiance's lack of musical ear, and how no matter if I am playing a Hanon warm-up or Liszt's Liebestraume I get the same reaction. Pure awe. I can see him throwing his head back at laughing at this with his whole body. He had such a wreckless laugh, booming, loud and hearty. Not that I'm that funny of a person, but I think he would have gotten a kick out of that. Next I imagine myself telling him how Allison likes it so much. Randy adored cats. He regarded them with almost a juvenile fascination. For such an intelligent person, I think he was shocked that he could have such a primal bond with another creature. He never tired of feeding and playing with runnergirl's cats and he enjoyed watching my kittens grow up (especially Wiggly Wrigley!). I know the reaction he would have to this unexpected attraction between Allie and the piano: he would give his half smile that would turn into an all out grin. There are times I think to myself "Damn! I wish Randy could see this silliness!" Then there are times when I know he can.