Anyway, this person lent me Love Smart and I've finally gotten around to reading it (it got put on the back burner for work, book group selections and a few magazines) but the subtitle "Find the One You Want, Fix the One You Got" made me think the book wouldn't be a total waste of time. Whose Prince Charming couldn't use a little fixing? Actually, what I've been learning is not how to "fix" the love of my life- I fell in love with who he is not who I want him to be. Instead I've learned how to understand some of the weird things he does that often threaten to drive me to insanity. Putting these things into a context of "this is just how men think" has been helpful, and one of the points he drives home is that women need to stop evaluating men using their own feminine yardstick. Brilliant!
Another central theme in the book is how to get men to notice you (no, not by being a hoochie!) by sharpening your social skills. I am not single, but I am a physicist which inherently means my social skills could use a little work. And I am often put in social situations (no matter how much I resist) where I have to meet new people and make small talk. This book is quite good at explaining how to effectively leave an impression on people. Dr. Phil says to compare getting to know people with trying to sell a product, and that product is you! The first rule in sales is that you must believe in your product which means that you must like yourself before you can expect others to like you! Okay, so far this sounds like self-help mumbo jumbo, but I am going somewhere with this. One piece of advice that Dr. Phil gives for social situations is to have a "soundbite" that you can give to people to quickly give them an essence of you who are. Usually this "soundbite" should be 30 words or less so that the person you are meeting doesn't get bored. I thought this was a great idea and that I should definitely have a soundbite on hand for any social situation. Here's what I've come up with:
"My name is Natalie and I measure the dynamic magnetic properties of multi-functional oxide systems."
"My name is Natalie and I am about ten years away from being the Crazy Cat Lady that all your kids and their friends will tease."
"My name is Natalie and if you are a Yankees fan, please tell me so that we can end this conversation immediately."
"My name is Natalie and I’m addicted to truffles, historical fiction and National Public Radio."
"My name is Natalie and I’m only talking to you because Dr. Phil told me to."
So..... what’s your soundbite?