Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Readjusting

I am back in a life I am a little more used to. For fifteen weeks I thought everyday of sleeping next to my husband, snuggling my kitties, going to work with people who felt more like siblings than coworkers. And yet, now that I have these things once again I still feel unsettled. It could just be my tentative nature. But as much as I recognize how wonderful it is to be home, I still feel like something is not quite right. There’s a little knot in my tummy and my sleeping has not been sound. The sleeping thing is exacerbated by the fact that I actually got used to sleeping alone. Suddenly sharing a bed with another person AND three not-so-small cats isn’t a natural feeling. Add to it that one of the cats likes to bite in the middle of the night and that quiet bed in my dad’s basement doesn’t seem so bad.

Oddly enough, part of my brewing anxiety comes from still not having seen all of my dumpster kitties. Their schedule was pretty upended the last days I was gone with one of my friends catching a couple litters of kittens that had popped up just recently. As a result, I think they are keeping scarce and their feeding schedule has been thrown off by all the trapping. I'll be happier when the dinner attendance is a little more consistent.

My last week at my internship was good. I presented my main results to the group and it was a success. I met with my manager the last day. He complimented me and seemed to understand everything that I couldn’t say. After three months of feeling like no one was communicating with me, he said he thought I did a great job. He said he didn’t know what the group would be like when I was ready to graduate, or even if I was would be interested, but that he would be more than happy to write me an excellent recommendation letter to any other research group in the company if I wanted. This seems like the perfect solution and all indications I received throughout the summer were that my manager was a guy who would be listened to.

Yesterday I got back into the lab and it felt good to be out of the cubes and into an open space. Unfortunately all my pens and post-it notes are missing but like I said, we’re basically a family. What’s mine is yours, whether I like it or not. Now I have to get my paperwork in order, re-establish contact with collaborators (and friends), and try to figure out exactly what I was doing before I left.

I just wanted to check in and let you all know I arrived safely and am back in the lab. More later when I find my groove.

10 comments:

labwench said...

Welcome back!

e.b. said...

welcome back to tpa!

dr sardonicus said...

Fifteen weeks is a long time to be gone - really, it's almost like you're moving in all over again. Re-establishing your work routine and getting used to all those loving bodies wanting to cuddle in bed just takes time, that's all.

Beth said...

Welcome home. I've had months away from my husband. 4-5 months at a rip without seeing him once and it always felt strange being together again. Hell, it's been well over 20 years and I still don't like sleeping with the man. =)

brainhell said...

iyzplrlj

fermicat said...

Give it a little time. I'm sure things will seem normal very soon.

I love my husband, but I sometimes miss sleeping alone. Getting to go to bed and get up whenever, without having to tiptoe around... hogging the covers all to yourself... not listening to him snore... not feeling guilty if I read for hours... setting the temperature on what feels comfortable to me... not having to share the cats...

Alice said...

wow.... 15 weeks is a long time. i get used to having a bed to myself after like 5 days ;-)

spants said...

Sleeping alone: one of the perks of being on opposite sleep schedules. We don't let the cats in the bedroom anymore. Josh's snoring is enough of a sleep-deterrent, thanks.

Don't worry about the dumpster kitties - they'll come back around as soon as meow spreads that you are home.

magnetbabe said...

Thanks all for the welcome! Yes, things are slowly getting back to normal. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets used to sleeping alone. As for the kitties, they take even more getting used to. Wrigley's biting has been bad again and locking him out only makes him howl and tear up the carpet outside the door. Sometimes I think he is the devil's spawn.

Thanks, brainy, for letting me know you are alright!

MyUtopia said...

Adjustments always suck! Welcome back home!